It has been a while..

I know I disappeared. Been dealing with some stuff. Mentally that is. Got so caught up in the strong current which overtook me, that I had forgotten how to swim and as a result I have been distant and cold to so many people. I stopped talking to almost everyone, expect my mom. (she likes to know I am alive). Granted I use social media, but usually I keep to myself. Been using...well doing art therapy with my older sister to keep myself in check. Most of which I post on my instagram. This is actually the first time I am posting in a while because this is the first time in a while I don't feel like crap. I didn't really how much it would affect my physical self. I am actually having to do damage control on my hair to help it from totally going nuts on me. Never thought I would ever say that. But the crushing and falling feeling has lifted some. Maybe I shouldn't keep things to myself. Maybe I should stop listening to what people say about me. I wish I could rewind these last few weeks and just start over. My life fallen to pieces and only now have I started to bend down and try to pick them and put them back together. School life is hanging on by a single thread, which I am trying to recreate the rope which use to be there. My social life is no more, reaching back out to those I use to talk to is harder than I thought over here. Someone always needs me to do something. Always expects something. When did I stop feeling like I could do something worthwhile? I am currently trying. Trying to pour the liquid gold into the cracks of my old life to make something even better out of it. Going to try to keep a positive mind...no matter how drained I become. Here is to trying.