My Last Year

Of Nursing will start June 13th. Officially in my 4th year of nursing and still wondering why I am even trying. Hah.

To be honest, I am surprised how far I came. Surprised that I am going to enter 4th year. I should have graduated a few years ago if I had stuck with my plan on studying right after high school. Oh well. At least this isn't so bad. 

So, I ended up talking to Jhens and Yna about how I felt. To apologize about being distant with them. Mainly Yna because we are in the same thesis group. And Yna told me to never mind it because I always waited for her no matter how far behind she was from us, so she will just wait around and make sure I don't get "left out" and always have the option of joining in the fun.

Jhens just felt bad. She still thinks it is due to what happened in Cebu since things haven't been the same in the group, but I told her nah we learned things about each other and that allowed us to grow and understand one another.

So, I been feeling in between today. Only thing I did was enroll myself and make phone calls to the school to find out information towards our classes. Surprised the workers there because they know I usually just show up in person. So I did a little white lie and told them I wasn't in the city and was enrolling via mobile. 

A part of me is excited about this being my last year. The other part is scared. After this what happens? I know I didn't want to put roots down, but I couldn't help it. I am so use to the "Filipino" version of things. Like, what if I have a craving for something I can't get in the states? Or what if I just end up not being able to start my life over again when I get back?

I mean, I have the option of running to Brian if life gets too hard, I know I always have a friend with him to help me out and whatnot. After all he is an older brother to me. People always state that he and I should date or we seem perfect together. Thing is, we aren't. Though I am the most important girl in his life, it is as a family member, which is a good thing since I cannot see him anything but a friend or a brother because that would just be weird. But anyways, he said that worse comes to worse he flies me out to PA to stay with him family. So at least I got that.

And Sara. Always have Sara to lean on. Though she is such a silly bun. With her I started drawing Apple Butt and her gang again. It is actually improving. 

Anyways, yeah, just trying to update my life on here again. I need an outlet for the time being.