Happy birthday to me

Today has been a long day. First birthday I am not near any family member. First birthday I didn't spend with my brother. First birthday on the 10th, he won't be spending it with me, and our tradition of putting up our christmas decorations. Honestly, I feel lonely. My friends have made sure to shower me with love and were celebrating on Thursday during lunch hour, but it's not the same. This birthday is so bittersweet. 

It's been very cold. I am not use to the cold and had to hold back tears on some days because I'm just not use to it. Today was a bad anxiety day for me. 

Went to the cathedral and sat in silence for a little. Just to feel close to people no longer in my life. One thing I hate about my birthday is how a lot of my memories get flooded by a lot past friends and how I am still here and they are forever ageless. 

It was also the first birthday my parents didn't wish me a happy birthday, due to typhoon in the Philippines they haven't really been online. 

Anyways, I am now officially 33 years old.