I never thought of Matt as anything more than just a friend. And now....well the possiblity of moving on in life from Ashe with Matt doesn't seem so terrifying.
I always pictured myself with Ashe. No on else. And when we broke up, it hurt so bad and then he disappeared and I was unable to get a hold of him. I know I wasn't his girlfriend at the time. And half the time I didn't know where I stood with him. But it never stopped me from falling deeper and deeper in love with him.
But Matt accepts how broken I became. How unsure and nervous I am over the little things. After these past few months talking with Matt every single day, and him expressing interest in me, and actually not making me feel lonely when we talk...I wouldn't mind falling for him. It would be a major change from Ashe.
A part of me is still on the fence, but knowing there is no time pressure to move on right away and still be accepted by Matt is comforting. He even said he sees the old me coming out again, saying I make pervert jokes, and have the sassy comebacks like i use to. :) I always thought the loudmouth me was a bad thing. And a grumpy cranky me who complains over everything when I have no sleep or just being moody was annoying. But he just laughs at it and calla me cute.
It is weird when he tells me I am cute or that I am most important to him or teases me in a flirting way.
Being free to do me, and still know for certain that someone accepts me and I don't have to worry about someone else grabbing his interest....it is relaxing.
Whoever said gamer guys are hard to be in a relationship with is completely wrong.
Hopefully things keep going well, and that Ashe is doing well, may he find happiness, even if it isn't with me. I still love him and will always love him. I miss his dearly and constantly want to talk to him. But...since we lost touch all i can do is send out good vibes to him mentally.
(I am happy that I can like someone and still have nothing but good things to say about the guy I fell for before. ^.^)
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