Thanks Sara. Thanks for worrying me half to death with your dog attack. I know it is much worse than it looks. Barely missing a major tendon in your wrist! Everyone makes light of it. I know I do. But I know she knows it has me worried. She is an artist. That is her right hand. If she is unable to use it...-sighs- She claims it is fine, and she is laughing it off. One centimeter closer to the tendon and the wrist is done for, and she knows she can't afford another surgery until after her big move. And with my mom preparing to come here, and everything going on with my family. Seriously Sara think a little. You work with stray dogs that attack you at work. Why in the world would you protect Mayu with your hand?! Think a little. I hate being away from home. I hate it so much. I know I am very careless with myself, for sake's fuck, I kept re-hurting my weak knee all day long. But I have a higher pain tolerance than her. She can't even stand needles. We don't even know if the dog had rabies, or anything. And she doesn't even want to get checked because she is almost sure it didn't. Since she didn't see any signs of it.
She doesn't see why it worries me.
I fucking had to study diseases, and I was forced to get the rabies shot. I am the only one in my family to have the shot. It worries my mom like crazy to think of a slight chance of me getting rabies, even though I had already gotten the vaccine for it.
Pete's sake, I almost got Hep. B! I want to shake Sara until she understand how worriesome it is that she just won't get checked to be sure. Or just get the shots. She works with animals all day long! I am shocked she hasn't been told to get a rabies shot.
I know, I know, I know...rabies aren't that big in the states. That's not the point! Anything, anything bad usually happens to my family, our track record with stuff is an awful one. And she is playing a dangerous game.
Yes. I already know I am over reacting to it. I am her sister. I get to. I over react to everything.
I care. I care too damn much about every single person I know. And it sucks! I can't just turn away from anyone I consider close.
Even if I am tired, even if I don't feel anything. I still worry.
All I ever do is worry.
I worry about my studies.
I worry about life.
People I know.
Idiots I know.
Jackasses I know.
If I pinched a nerve in my knee whenever I feel it move weirdly.
I worry when my mom doesn't answer my calls.
I worry when I don't hear back from certain people.
I just worry.
It will become the death of me.
I will worry myself to death.
THIS TIME OVER MY SISTER! She wants me to give her tips on how to keep the wound all clean to prevent infection. She wants to video call so I can show her how. I can't. I just. I can't.
If it was her arm, yeah no problem.
But her wrist?! She is nuts. It is like if something happened to...wow...I cannot think of any talent I have that would be bad if something crippled me. Hahah, I am talent-less. That serves to show, I am barely good for anything.
But her. She is amazing. Two hours, she can paint amazing art, she can build things. She can do anything. It is her stress reliever. Just like this blog for me.
One day...one day I will just lose my mind, and that will be the end of it.
I do hope she will be okay. She never truly says how badly something is until it is too late.
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