Drained.
That is the only word I can say about now.
I feel drained.
Emotionally, mentally. Everything.
Hah.
I am sure it is mainly towards school though.
I haven't slept more than 3 or 2 hours since Saturday? First it was due to pain, now it is because of assignments.
I would have had everything done last night, but my cousin needed to use my laptop, so I couldn't finish the group powerpoint that I need to pass today. My group is counting on me to have it ready. Why me? Because I am the only one who knows how to do interesting things. And since creativity is a major part of the teaching, they rely on me a little too much. I am the one who will be doing all the graphic editing for our health teaching. Thank goodness we are the 5th group to do it. Otherwise I will go crazy.
I still haven't finished my HTP on depression. I am half way done? Didn't finish since I fell asleep last night.
My mom kept calling me. She was upset at Rosie. Apparently she wasn't happy my teenage sister was having an attitude.
I am usually the one who deals with Rosie. Just like Sara. Hah, my mom kept saying how I was the only "good" child. I didn't rebel much and my attitude wasn't all that bad.
I rebelled....she just never caught me.
Timing was everything back then.
I am sure if my mom knew half the things I did it would break her heart.
I miss her though. Her soothing words when I was in pain, etc.
Just 3 more week until she comes for a really short visit again.
I should be getting ready for school.
School is fine. I just...lost interest? Or maybe I am just tired.
I need to find something to do with my time.
I decided to write a journal.
Since I want to properly do something, and I would use this blog, but I feel uncomfortable about the topic I want to write on here about, because he reads it.
I believe we will be okay, and I do hope we will be.
But I am still a girl after all.
No matter how much I try to push past it, it comes back down to my emotions sometimes still get the better part of me, and I like writing down my thoughts.
I am not a writer. I don't string a lovely set of words together. I say and write what comes to mind without thinking. Sometimes it is a good thing, other times it is a bad thing.
And for the sake of the new friendship, I think there are some things I shouldn't say, and he shouldn't know. More so when it deals with a girl's broken heart. So actual journaling it is then.
Still going to post here. It has became a habit. It is more or less now a log of my daily happenings.
I am just going to cut back on a few things I would normally want to post.
I wonder if any of my classmates are welling to go out after school, maybe a movie or something.
I don't think I want to be alone directly after class. Jennibie has assignments which she will be going over to her classmate's dorm. I offered to let their group come over, and I can make snacks and such.
She rejected me. Haha. I am sure it isn't a big deal. I know I go to my groupmates house when she is here because I don't want to mix personal life and schooling together. I take no offense.
I just hope I can find people to be around after 5pm.
Knowing Tony he will be up for something, his something would of course be drinking.
I don't know if I want to drink. I haven't really had a drink for now almost a week.
But I do plan on drinking Friday night. -nods- Just because...end of the week and I am sure I will need it.
This blog will not contain anymore of my depressing sad thoughts....or I will try for it to not. I am sure a few will slip out, but I will try and put those in my actual hand journal instead of on here.
Boundaries.
I hate that word.
But it is necessary I suppose.
I am tired.
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