10:15 PM - Monday late night

I have been keeping busy with my assignments, but Ian kept asking for photos. I refused to video chat him on the grounds I am crappy looking.

I haven't sent him anyways.

But I actually like how they turned out. I really hate how I look, but got to say I look like a Spaniard/Spanish instead of Asian/Islander. -laughs- My dad's blood is so strong. I have his hair...and his eye sight. Boo on that.

I am also the only sister who has curly hair. Sara's was suppose to be curly...well wavy, but as we got older, her hair straightened out. I always was jealous about it. After all, I was always compared to her, and she was always the one who was considered pretty.

I wouldn't trade my wavy messy for anything. Though my friends consider my hair curly, I think it is more like a wavy mess with curls at the bottom.

My hair has grown a lot since I chopped it off.

A part of me wants to chop it off again.

But I really like how healthy my hair is, it will look so pretty long. I haven't put it to heat as much as I did before, so my natural hair has been slowly returning.

I just sent Ian a photo, the first one, he isn't convinced I am not crying.  

I am going to keep growing out my bangs.

I think that is something I should stick to this time. Even though I had bangs since who knows when, I am done with them. I am not going to have bangs again.

Watch within a month or so I get fed up with the hair in my face and chop them too short. -laughs-

Why post photos of myself?

Because right now. In this very moment, despite everything I am going through, I feel semi pretty.

It isn't going to last long, but I am savoring every moment when this happens. 

I am being all moody again.

-shakes head-

After telling him to do something, I felt weird. Not hurt, but weird? It is hard to explain.

But it made me feel less pretty.

So yay for feeling pretty today! Even though the day is almost over. At least I can sleep thinking something positive about me.

-nods- It is a slight improvement.

I am not counting the chickens before the eggs hatch.

My life is a mess. Who knows what is waiting for me tomorrow.

Here is to grinning and bearing all my troubles and liking myself for a change.

I am going to stop thinking! I have a lot of my assignments left to do.

Time to focus.