I came home a little after 1 AM?
I took a walk around the district I live in.
Nothing bad happened to me. I honestly didn't think anything bad would.
But now my back hurts a bit and my knee is throbbing. Maybe I over did it with the whole walking around when I should have been resting.
Oh well. It is entirely my fault I am in pain this time.
I don't really feel up to attending my morning classes.
So I am not. I think it is fine if I miss one day of class.
Though I have to go in for informatics.
We will have a midterm today, so I have no choice but to suck it up and go.
So I been gone most of the evening, but I informed the neighbors to let my cousin in the apartment if she ever came home. Leaving them with my apartment key.
Yes, I trust them enough to hold it. Not that anyone would actually go into my apartment. Everyone knows my goat will cry nonstop if someone goes in and then leaves. It becomes slightly annoying.
She never came home. Nor will she answer her phone. She better realize Duero isn't as important as school.
Granted I am not even going to 2 out of 3 of my classes, but that is because I am still one of the top students, even if I been slipping downward.
So how am I feeling?
Crappy still.
I still feel like my life is out of control and it is going to get a lot worse before anything good happens.
And I am sure there isn't anything I can do about it.
I cried my eyes out. I nearly had a panic attack all alone in my room.
Walked around outside until morning.
Still in pain from my back.
But it is okay.
I mean, it has to be....right?
I am still not feeling like myself. I still feel like I should just give up because it isn't worth trying to make life better when everything just wants to fall apart.
But...I want to feel at ease again.
I want....I just want to smile carelessly and feel better.
Honestly, I miss him.
And thankful that none of this mess is actually caused by him.
Unless he cursed me to have a horrible life. Haha.
I doubt that. He always said my happiness was important to him.
So I know he didn't have a hand in this. It is just the cards that were dealt to me.
Though, I would gladly accept these awful things if HE were happy. Truly happy.
Though I wish I could talk to him.
But it seems like this is the only site that actually works with my crappy internet.
The rest just won't load. So I can't even access my messenger.
So if he has tried to get a hold of me, I wouldn't even know.
Thus the life of one who's sucks horrible.
Just got to learn to laugh it off.
I'll try.
I took a walk around the district I live in.
Nothing bad happened to me. I honestly didn't think anything bad would.
But now my back hurts a bit and my knee is throbbing. Maybe I over did it with the whole walking around when I should have been resting.
Oh well. It is entirely my fault I am in pain this time.
I don't really feel up to attending my morning classes.
So I am not. I think it is fine if I miss one day of class.
Though I have to go in for informatics.
We will have a midterm today, so I have no choice but to suck it up and go.
So I been gone most of the evening, but I informed the neighbors to let my cousin in the apartment if she ever came home. Leaving them with my apartment key.
Yes, I trust them enough to hold it. Not that anyone would actually go into my apartment. Everyone knows my goat will cry nonstop if someone goes in and then leaves. It becomes slightly annoying.
She never came home. Nor will she answer her phone. She better realize Duero isn't as important as school.
Granted I am not even going to 2 out of 3 of my classes, but that is because I am still one of the top students, even if I been slipping downward.
So how am I feeling?
Crappy still.
I still feel like my life is out of control and it is going to get a lot worse before anything good happens.
And I am sure there isn't anything I can do about it.
I cried my eyes out. I nearly had a panic attack all alone in my room.
Walked around outside until morning.
Still in pain from my back.
But it is okay.
I mean, it has to be....right?
I am still not feeling like myself. I still feel like I should just give up because it isn't worth trying to make life better when everything just wants to fall apart.
But...I want to feel at ease again.
I want....I just want to smile carelessly and feel better.
Honestly, I miss him.
And thankful that none of this mess is actually caused by him.
Unless he cursed me to have a horrible life. Haha.
I doubt that. He always said my happiness was important to him.
So I know he didn't have a hand in this. It is just the cards that were dealt to me.
Though, I would gladly accept these awful things if HE were happy. Truly happy.
Though I wish I could talk to him.
But it seems like this is the only site that actually works with my crappy internet.
The rest just won't load. So I can't even access my messenger.
So if he has tried to get a hold of me, I wouldn't even know.
Thus the life of one who's sucks horrible.
Just got to learn to laugh it off.
I'll try.
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