5:30 PM - Sunday Evening

I have been sweating all day.

At least my back doesn't hurt as much? I dunno. I am trying to think positively. 

Which is slowly becoming harder and harder to do at the moment.

My internet isn't working properly still. I had to suck it up and walk to the mall. Would have rode there, but the rockiness of the road and in a tricycle...no thanks. I know I should be on bed rest, but I need my internet. My mom already chewed me out because she was having problems contacting me.

I contacted the company I am under contract with, and they aren't any help. They just keep telling me to turn on and off the router, and that it shows as up and running on their end.

Yes, thank you. I couldn't figured THAT out myself, I mean after all the modem shows that. It is the fact that it won't show up nor let me connect! That is the problem. And when it does allow me, it brings me to an error page. -sighs-

I get one problem out of the way, another rises up.

Seriously life...what did I do?

I try my best in everything.

I smile no matter what.

I help EVERYONE!

I never wished ill on anyone, even if they done me wrong.

Maybe it is trying to tell my something.

Maybe I should just disappear, life just completely sucks for me.

My head is still pounding over everything.

Last week was really nice.

Had tons of fun.

Why is it that when one thing seems to be going smoothly, my life decides to fall apart?

Usually by now I would turn to him and cry/whine something until I feel better.

I turn to my parents about it, and I keep getting the same old lecture: "You're an adult now. Take better care of yourself. I told you to be care. What do you want me to do?"

My friends here can't understand it because they don't worry about stuff. Though Gerald was also in the hospital a few days ago. Maybe a week. I don't know. He didn't tell us. We found out from Sam's mother when the instructors started complaining about how he wasn't in school and they wanted Sam and I to tell them why he was in the hospital. We were shocked. We understand their confusion and thinking we would know. But we aren't as close as we should be.

I am very uncomfortable.

I am currently laying on a hard mat on the floor. My uncle told me not to use any cushions because I need to keep my back as straight as possible without straining it.

To be honest, I want to cry.

Nothing is going right.

I am in pain, I am feeling lonely, and I can't do anything about it.

I am stuck.

Stuck stuck stuck!

I am so frustrated about everything.

I am tired of trying to make everything work.

I am tired of being me.

I feel so worthless right now.

I am suppose to be the healthy one.

The unbreakable one.

And yet, here I am.

I am broke.

Emotionally, physically, mentally.

I am miserable.

And currently hating my life.

And, I am only saying this due to the fact my life sucks.

If you (You know who you are) are actually reading this, no this isn't about you.

YOU had nothing to do with my luck.

Unless you had cursed me or something. Then don't you even bother with this.