It has been a few days since I last posted in here.
I been quite busy with schooling, and talking with him. And dealing with my classmates.
I am never going to let them bully me into being class representative ever again. It is killing me ever so slowly.
Today the Nursing classes were cancelled, meaning after I picked up my form from Tony I went home. Yay for that. Seriously. I am getting sick and tired of the summer classes. I hate having to listen to them talk about computers and then come to me for help. I love working on computers/laptop anything really. But I hate having to explain things to them.
Questions like, "How did you make that picture move on powerpoint?" "Where did you get that background?" "How did you layer that assignment?" "What program did you use?"
Even if I wanted to tell them what program to use they don't have it. The school computers only have paint for anything art related. Do they really think I will spend my time sitting and making a mess on their "libre office"? They don't even have real office, and the ones who do, it isn't even the actual one, it is a torrented version from the internet, which makes it really hard to do anything properly.
And as for being teachers, I find it really hard to take them seriously, since I have to help with everything.
I get it, I know more. I used computers since I was a kid, but it isn't my fault. My dad was...is a computer geek, and it slightly rubbed off on me.
Thankfully last week.
What is killing me, is the fact that Tony isn't stepping up as the actual class rep. I am the vice representative, Tony's right hand person to help get things done. But all he has ever done is tell me to do it instead. He is too tired from partying, or he just doesn't feel like going to school. He wants to relax and rest. He doesn't even take all the classes because the Dean credited his classes from the states. Yet she won't for me. So I am stuck taking the stupid classes again.
Like today, Tony texted me to tell the class to pick up the forms. Okay, I did. Since I am with them and he isn't and it is expensive to text 45 students. To which I think I scared my English teacher since he never heard me talk loudly before. My classmates are use to it. I project my voice loudly if I want everyone to quiet down, thanks for drama club/class for teaching me how to speak very loudly without hurting my voice. Hahahaha.
After that was done, at 1:30 in the afternoon Tony messages me saying, "Tin, I am tired can you attend the meeting with the C.Is? Ask them to bring the unsigned forms, and what to do for the assignments."
...seriously. I didn't even have the forms. So I had to basically go on a wild goose chase for section b's rep, so I can get the papers for her, and not surprising, half the papers were with Tony. So not only did I have to pay travel fare to go downtown to see the rep from the other section I had to go to Tony's place, then go back to school. -sighs- I hate going downtown, they always charge more than they should, just because I am not from there. Downside to being white. Also, it wasn't surprising to me that Tony wasn't even home. So after waiting for 10 minutes, I gave up and went to school with what I had, and talked with the instructors.
After 20 minutes or so, Tony comes in and complains how I never went to his place. I wanted to smack him. I hate being told last minute to do things, more so having to wait for people who say they will be there when they are not.
I like him, but sometimes he is just annoying.
I love the fact Sam has someone now. She is happy. I love it. But she is relying on me too much.
I am constantly having to remind her things, and she never replies to anything I send her anymore, and when I tell her something in class to remember to do later, she forgets. Why? Because she is on the phone with her girlfriend.
She often complains how I am on my phone talking to him.
The only difference is, I do pay attention to what is around me, what is being said. I just don't respond right away unless I really have to.
I never forgotten an assignment, I haven't turned anything in late, and I make sure to do everything I need to do.
She doesn't. Even if I message her to remind her, the next morning she is like, "Shit! Fuck! I forgot! I didn't check your message because I was on the phone with Babe."
-frowns- Again, happy about her newly found Babe, but she can't always make me do things. I get tired of people copying off my homework. I stay up late just to do it, to research and whatnot.
My forms are all signed though! Thank goodness! Bless Yna's heart for taking my long form last week because her mom advised to use her name and status to get signatures. It worked.
So today I got my evaluation done by Mam Apale. Thanks to being late because of Tony, I almost didn't. But I guess she felt bad or something for me. I think I had annoyed her too much last week. When she saw me take out my form, she gave such a heavy sigh, I felt like she didn't want to deal with me anymore. But she let me be the last-last person she did before returning to the meeting.
Thank you Mam! I need to get her a cake or something as a thanks. Maybe I should bake her something.
I know...again, I know I said I wouldn't talk about him...but I can't help myself.
I seriously do love him.
Even if he doesn't know it. Or something.
I do.
Everything about him.
He is my person. Tied right up there with Sondra.
He knows more about me than she does.
He wants me to feel free to tell him anything, talk about anything.
I already feel that. But I am really bad at wording things. I was never one who can smoothly express what I am thinking, and I get flustered easily, which sometimes causes me to act childish.
But he is amazing. More than he knows.
When I talk to him, it is almost as if everything fades away. I can hear what is going on, I see it. But it is almost as if it is not there.
I have problems sleeping, and when I talk about our little place, and about sleeping there with him in dream world, he tells me I should. It helps me sleep. Sometimes it doesn't always make my dreams amazing, but it calms my racing mind down where I can sleep almost right away.
He doesn't know the affect he has on me.
I just...I still love him.
Even if he just wants to be friends.
I am happy that I gotten to talk to him so much these past few days. It made my day go by quickly, and made me realize many things.
Even though today wasn't at all the good day I planned, I am glad I found time to write here. Writing here eases me as well, mainly from my racing heart. -smiles-
I have to do my English assignment so I don't have to go in as early as I normally do.
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| My feelings over forms signed, and having to talk to him. Makes my tiring day bearable. |
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