Just got off the phone with my mommy.
She wanted to discuss about Sara. She has strong distaste on what she is doing with her life, because her choices has taken her down paths that she barely made it out of.
She works hard though and tries her best to make the best out of her life.
But my mom is starting to want to push her to go to college. Properly go to college.
The thing about Sara....she isn't normal.
She attended an Art Institute back in Florida while I was finishing up high school, but she wasn't even a student. Her boyfriend was, so she would go to the school and use a fake last night stating she doesn't have an I.D Or something. She did that for two years. She, of course learned but that was it.
So my mom wants to send her here to take up nursing like me.
Why? Because I am enjoying myself and the course. I have gained new friends, learned more than I ever thought I could back in Florida. But at what cost? People I love, friends, everything about my life there was left behind.
And now my mom wants Sara to do the same. All because she now no longer is in a relationship with Andrew.
I told my mom to not even try with Sara. It would kill her to go into nursing. It would kill her to root up her life to come here for schooling.
I have talked to her one on one about it. She doesn't have the emotional strength to do what I did.
She likes being where she is familiar, and can understand what is going on.
If she came here, she would not understand the languages. She use to, but over the years she forgotten everything. And since she didn't keep in touch with her high school friends here, she lost the understanding of the language.
Oh, we both went to school here for a year, back when I was in 5th grade, and she was in 7th grade.
5th grade is part of the elementary department, while 7th grade was part of the high school department.
Anyways, I told my mom how silly it is to force her. She hates taking care of people. She freaks out over needles and blood. She cannot stand watching what happens to people. She isn't comfortable touching dead bodies. At least human bodies. They freak her out.
I told my mom that she would be unhappy with her life if she was forced to do something she didn't want to do.
She asked me what she would take up then, I told her if she wants to send Sara to school let her become a vet. She loves animals and would do whatever it takes to save their lives. Which my mom thought was stupid because human lives matter more than animals.
My mom can be closed minded like that.
She thought I would agree, since I rather care for humans than animals. I told her I think different. That both are equal. I just don't have the ability to watch an animal die. It breaks my heart if an animal is in pain.
It also breaks my heart if a human is dying or in pain. But I understand humans. I can help them. I wouldn't be afraid to do something. So I gravitated towards nursing because of that.
Sara wouldn't like it. She would want to work with animals.
Thankfully my mom dropped it, and decided not to force her to come here.
Though....I would love it if Sara was here. I wouldn't feel all that alone. There would be a sister in my college, and I could hit the town with her. -smiles- But I know how she is. After all, I took care of her for as long as I can remember.
Anyways, today was...interesting.
Granted I am running on very, VERY little sleep, I will be up most of this evening doing assignments again.
I got a short extension on one of the assignments I was suppose to pass today. I got the highest exam score on the midterm, so she said it was fine if I finish it tonight and pass it first thing when i get in class tomorrow.
Then during lunch, Faith and I ran into each other while I was buying food.
I should really learn to actually eat meals. I wish my scheduling during the day time allowed me to actually eat!
-laughs- She is something else. The first thing she did when she saw me was announce her undying love for me. So of course I jokingly did the same. Because we are good friends. It is all in fun. Both of us are straight girls. We just like making a scene and acting all dramatic.
The guy behind us was confused the moment Faith said, "We don't we date? We would be perfect for each other! We love the same things, you would never hurt me, and I know how to treat you right."
I couldn't stop from laughing and asked if she was interested in dating girls, and she stood there thinking and whispered a soft "no".
I am not. but it is nice to have someone to randomly be in a dramatic soap opera about love and betrayal. We take turns on being the "guy" Hahaha.
I finished my informatics assignments so quickly in class since I brought my laptop along with me.
The instructors were shocked over how quickly....and how NICE the actual full version of the programs are. And the more current ones are.
My dad didn't agree to take on my MS programs on his card for nothing.
Why is he paying and not me? Because I got rid of my card.
Well...not really, but I don't like using it, so he just pulls money out of my savings and puts it in his account to pay for it. Haha, he is fearless when it comes to paying things not in cash, which is why he is also the one I turn to when I want something online.
Oh! There is a psych student, he always calls me "Not Tina".
Funny story about that nickname, I met him through Gerald, because of our group ISA, and I am really bad at remembering names, but I remember faces so easily.
I was nearly certain he had not caught my name because I don't even remember it being said while he was there.
Then one afternoon, Amme, Sam, Jeff and I were eating lunch at the canteen at the oval, and that person walk over to us and said, "Hi Tina."
Of course, me being me, completely forgot I was wearing my nameplate because I just got back from CHN in another area, blah blah,
So the first thing out of my mouth was, "My name isn't Tina."
He went on and said, "Oh, well hi CHRIStina."
And I laughed saying that my name wasn't Christina either.
AS A JOKE! And I thought I was going to get away with giving a fake name for laughs.
And he stared at me and questioned my name plate.
Everyone at the table was laughing so hard about that. Because I honestly forgotten I wear my name during duty hours.
Anyways, so that guy came to me today. He apparently thinks I was ignoring him.
I don't know why people think I am ignoring them!
I AM NOT GOOD WITH EXPRESSING MYSELF TO PEOPLE!
Yes, I think of him as a friend, but I am not close to him. I don't know him.
So I don't go out of my way to make conversation with him or anything.
I think I need to learn how to show a bit more emotion to people.
I know Sam has told me it is hard to tell if I actually like something or not.
She make a joke because I had a "pouty sulky" face during our health education class. And she kept poking my arm saying things like, "I will figure out how to fix this robot. I will make it work correctly. No more frowning." Stuff like that. And she was pretending to work on buttons and being a techie.
It made me smile.
She has gotten her skip back. She smiles so much, and it makes me feel better knowing that she finally found someone who cares so much about her.
She even made her talk to me. I pretended to be a boy. Which was quickly solved I wasn't when I choked and I had to normally speak.
Ian is also unhappy with me. Apparently he thinks it is hard to get in touch with me because I haven't been on facebook as much. I seriously want to get rid of it, but then I would lose the ability to get information from my classmates easily. I need notes, boom they send it to our class's page. I need help with an assignment, boom. Message a person and they get back to me right away. No one has load to text, but everyone is online.
That is why Ember decided to reactivate her facebook so SHE can actually get the notes from class.
I feel a bit better today. I still feel crappy, but it will heal.
I got to talk to him again. It made me smile. Though we will be friends. It is bitter sweet knowing that is all we will be.
I love him so dearly, it is crazy what I would have done to keep him. But he wouldn't be happy, not truly happy. Because that is how he is.
A part of me wonders what would happen if I didn't come here to study, would things have gone differently.
I feel that is something I lost when I came here.
But at least I still have the friendship. So it isn't as if everything is lost.
It will just be such a change from what I am use to.
That is why I feel crappy. But it is okay. It is a feeling that will pass.
My love for him won't. It will always be there. But...it is still sad.
Glad we are trying to at least make things work as friends.
I have to distract my attention. -laughs-
Oh, I felt a bit pretty today, thus the photos.
Every complimented my choker, and said it fit my attire and personality.
I really want to buy more chokers! Ugh, can't wait until I am back in the states, just for more choker access.
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