Sleepy...but awake. Got a video call from Princess out of the blue. She and I were close, really close friends. She still considers me one of her best friends. I still do in some ways. She was there for me for so much in the Philippines. She has two kids and is happily married.
She reached out to me about 1-2 months ago and started talking to me on and off again. I have never been good at keeping many conversations going with friends long term, despite how I seem. Life gets busy, and people get distracted. And I've always been the one to fade in the background not wanting to inconvenience anyone with my presence. She is the same way. So she reached out because she picked up our year book from 2018(took them 7 years to have them ready for pick up, thank goodness my parents are there and picked mine up yesterday.) Now the difference between USA year books and Philippines year books ...the quotes/saying that personal writing area. Here in the States we can write a quote we like to saying. In the Philippines, a friend writes something about you. Something meaningful that they want the world to know. -smiles- When she read hers the first person she thought of was me. Not because of the English, and the grammar, but because of how the paragraph describing her made her feel. That made her very happy, that she reached out. Originally she wanted to show me mine. But I want to wait until I have the physical copy in my hands. Which would be in the next week or so. I just remember Sam, Jhen, Yna and Princess wrote something about me. I'm not sure who's got picked and put in. It was a group decision that the person isn't apart of -laughs- Solely based on friendships.
God. It's so early and I'm not feeling a bit down. I miss the bond that I had with them there. Whenever one of them reaches out to me I get so happy for a moment and then I back off because...I don't know why. They still call me Mama Bear(I'm older than them by years, and I always was the protective one with the group). -smiles- but yeah, she video called me randomly to show me her baby girl. She wanted to show her who I was because I might do much to her and asked if it was okay to video call everyone once in a while. I told her it's perfectly fine to do so. I hope that no matter what Cess knows I'll always answer her call/message. And she can make sure I'll always be there for her and her kids no matter what.
Anyways, we talked for 15 minutes before he little girl got cranky and needs to be out down for a nap. Cess kept bringing up things that pulled at my heart strings a bit. Bittersweet memories. I know she didn't mean to, we were reminiscing about college. College was a wild ride for me on all ways possible. Looking back on it...I have no doubt I was meant to go there for schooling when I did. Even though that was the worst timing in so many ways in other areas of my life. I had irreplaceable memories from those years, even if I didn't 1.5 years basically drunk with a few of my classmates. As much as I am always tempted to drink again, I'm glad I don't.
I guess that's all for this morning. He is currently on my mind. I woke up at 3:30 this morning from a thought about him. And basically been up since. Anyways! Before I make this too long, because word vomit and such, I hope today unravels as a good day.
-Until next time.
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