I want me back

Last feel weeks has been insanely hard. Had a severe panic/anxiety attack at work to the point I was put into a dark room and closed off from patients until I was okay enough to return to work(due to not wanting to leave and go home since I felt like I was letting my team down if I left since we were insanely busy.) 

I don't know when exactly I started to have these attacks, when I started to be the way I am now. I am constantly doing the best I can to find a way back to how I was. Just enough to merge who I was and who I am now. 

I'll just be more at ease once this house issue is done and my parents are up here with me. Once I know my parents are safe and hope my brother understands his actions will forever change the way dynamic on how my parents trust. Having my mom break down to me and express how scared she was back in 2015 coming back to the USA and having Sara basically abandon them when they had only 200 dollars and a backpack, and Isaac doing basically the same thing since coming back. Everything has been on edge and communication with my brother and his husband has gone from once in a while to barely anything. Which sucks since I was so close to him. It's now just another adjustment in my life I gotta get use to. People leave. People always leave family and friends. I'll eventually be okay with it. 

Anywho, here's to another Friday. TGIF or whatever.